Classic VF humor: Workouts we'll never see

[Messe]

It's Friday, and Spring is coming, so let's have some fun creating workouts we'll never see! Nothing mean-spirited, and everything within VF guidelines (newbies may want to check them before posting)--just some good Friday fun!

My entries:

FitPrime's two-video release for those who don't like the Weights First set:
*Stick First: An instructor to be chosen later beats the zebra rug into submission and bashes the Chinese lanterns to shreds. This workout has an upper body emphasis. Muscles are worked thoroughly during the bashing and thrashing.
*Bonfire First: Another instructor to be chosen later piles the debris from Stick First in the middle of the floor and ignites it. This workout has a lower body/cardio emphasis. It features simple but creative choreography as the instructor dances and leaps around the flames.
Note: These workouts should be done in this order for maximum effectiveness.

The I Need It All Ultimate Circuit Training DVD
Designed specifically for women whose DHs/SOs think they have too much workout equipment. Virtually every piece of equipment known to humankind is used in at least one circuit. State-of-the-art chaptering makes it possible to create circuits using every piece of equipment you own. Also contains preprogrammed workouts for beginning, intermediate and advanced collectors. Or just for fun, live dangerously and program your DVD player to select random chapters. So line up those treadmills, cycles, ellipticals, rebounders, body bars, core boards, BOSUs, free weights, etc., and show your DH/SO that you do too need all that equipment. Bonus: Subscribe to the series and get regular updates with circuits for new equipment as it's introduced on the market.

Gilad in Antarctica
Bored with the beach, Gilad moves his workout team and their black mats to Antarctica for a brand-new workout. Features a very long warmup and easy-to-follow aerobics on the mat. This workout features no formal cooldown; Gilad has contracted with Mother Nature to take care of that for him.

Okay, your turn. As Tamela would say, THIS IS FUN!

[sweetmelissak]

Martha-

ROFL! These are so funny, great thread! I'm sure everyone here is going to have a lot of fun with this one!

[ARTmethodfan]

Now I see what happens when someone pretends they're in elementary school and takes an early lunch!!!

OK - I'm game -

How about:

The FIRM's Cast & Crutch - Not really a video just the After pictures in their Before & After shots of someone using the new fanny lifter.

Sub-Urban Rebounding - JB Berns creates a fun, carefree version of the ultimate low impact workout. Florence Henderson and Shirley Jones join the group of modifiers and they prove that with the right amount of hairspray, you can maintain a bouffant hairdo through anything!!

[susan p]

LessMax is MoreMax, with Cathe Friedrich, a workout for those moderate days.

Eye-robics with Fabio and Gilad

Twenty Questions about Home Dec from the Firm, included free with any order!

P.S. Sorry Martha, I tried, but I just can't match your wit!! What a great idea for a thread! I'll be watching without drinking today!

[Barb L]

Actually....the I Need It All Workout is a great idea

And how about...

The CAT LOVERS Workout. Let your furry friends help you develop feline flexibility, leaping legs, and the ultimate Cat Tail pose. Use one kitty in each hand for overhead presses, or in place of oof balls. As your strength increases, just feed them more Fancy Feast.

[Rose031]

What a cute thread (and sorry if my flu ridden mind creates workouts that amuse only myself :-)

The Firm finally breaks away from GoodTimes and teams up with Richard Simmons, creating Super Sculpting Blast. Richard, dressed in black boxers and a form fitting tank, leads a cast of Firm Instructors dressed in clashing floral prints in the Mansion set.

The Terminator II Workout. Led by Linda Hamilton she takes you through the total body workout she used to get in shape for Terminator II. Using only equipment found in the cell of a mental patient, you learn to disemble your bed and stand it on it's side for pull-ups, to disconnect the bathroom sink for bicep curls and to use a lidless toilet for sit and stand squats.

And finally, Relaxation Max. One full hour of Cathe, lounging on a couch, eating pizza, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and bon bons and conveying to the viewing audience that rest days are meant to be enjoyed.

[Renee D]

Can't wait to read more! My own lowly contribution can be found here:

http://forum.videofitness.com/showth...=&pagenumber=2

[Mary W]

can I pre-order? I'll gladly send a check for any amount, payable to anyone who, if they find the time, might produce these fresh new workouts.

LOL, Barb...feed your kitty more Fancy Feast . So that's how my cat is adding 12lbs. to my pushups, compared to the 8lbs. he added last year.

[Rainy L.]

with Bea Arthur and guest fitness instructors Richard Simmons and Denise Austin.

Join Cher and Bea as Richard and Denise lead them through a series of breathing exercises and guided meditations. You'll find the sheer and fishnet workout costumes encourage you to keep your eyes closed, and that Denise's boundlessly enthusiastic voice and Richard's amusing side-chatter will train and strengthen your ability to ignore outside distractions to focus on meditation.

Special bonus: Richard performs adjustments on Bea Arthur in a sumptious fuschia-lit billiard room set. It's special!

[Messe]

It's certainly possible that Charlene Prickett could find enough ideas for a new video entitled "Women with No Lives". :rolleyes: