Dear WWWendy,

[FitBoop]

This thread was an effort to find out what is happening with Wendy and VF. For a long time, a lot of people have been very worried about Wendy.

After so many of us who knew Wendy voiced our concerns, it was a natural reaction to want to know more about a post here that stated a message was received from Wendy. No one accused anyone of lying.

If Wendy were here, she would be giving a warning to stop the personal attacks or the thread will be closed.

[FirmDancer]

Originally Posted by toaster

Karen Jo, I appreciate all of the VF forum history you provided too. I've been a member since around 1998 (not 100% sure because my original date was lost with the 2001 update), but I either forgot or never knew the details of the things that Wendy had to do to keep VF afloat following each update.

This goes for me too! I vaguely remember some issues ... So my interpretation then is that we have been really lucky / blessed that WWWendy has kept this site up & running and didn't just shut it down when it became so overwhelmingly complicated. I applaud her for that and am grateful.
-Neita

[donnamp]

I should probably let sleeping dogs lie on this subject, but I feel like I should say something.

While no one explicitly accused Karla of lying, I think there was a tone to the responses to her original post that Wendy was ok which I would have found insulting if directed to me. Sometimes written communication does not convey messages as well as in-person-face-to-face communication where you can see the person's facial expressions and other non-verbal cues. But i can see how she was insulted by the comments. Maybe they were not intended to be hurtful, but I can see why she felt insulted and hurt by them.

I try to give the benefit of the doubt when reading posts/comments b/c things do get lost in the "translation" at times.

I will throw out there that unless someone has seen Wendy in person, we really don't know for sure who the "woman behind the curtain" is at this point.

Wendy must have her reasons for staying silent and I think we have to respect that. I wasn't personal friends with her, so maybe that is why I can say that.

I hope VF continues to chug along, after hearing about the nightmare of the last upgrade, I can see why Wendy (or whomever is behind the curtain) doesn't want to risk doing another upgrade, so thank you, KarenJo for that background.

Peace everyone - let us try to enjoy VF for however long it lasts....hopefully another 20+ years!

Donna

[Leonana]

My turn to go out on a limb lol. Donna, I agree. The posts to Karla sounded critical to me also. I can understand why Karla was upset. Oth, I felt her response was overly aggressive in return. I can see why each side was upset. My concern is that whichever forum I go to, I want there to be a way to handle disputes so that the forum isn’t harmed by the drama. I can see why Wendy locked threads and deleted posts.

[KateTT]

Originally Posted by Vintage VFer

Karla, I find it interesting that you tend to accuse VFers of being unfriendly. In recent years, you quoted me and accused me several times of either making long-time VFers leave or making it so no new folks want to join. I found that extremely rude, insulting and demeaning.

Now you are making the same accusations at FOLV - one of the kindest, most welcoming VFers I've *ever* known on this forum.

Well, you have your own Forum now so you can run it any way that you want. I think I may have signed up for that one some time ago. Please do me the favor of deleting my account there, and banning me forever.

That way you won't have me to blame for membership issues.

DITTO DITTO AND DITTO. Geez Louise people!!
I, for one, just hope Wendy is ok.
And two, ignore negative people who post misinformation.

The end.

[KateTT]

Originally Posted by Karla25

I'm done reading this thread. It's too negative.

Bye!! From what I read, you bring it on yourself. Bye.

[cataddict]

donnamp and Leonana, both of your responses were rational and respectfully presented, so thanks to both of you.

I don’t think that the comments in response to the initial “she’s alive” post warranted the level of vitriolic personal attacks that resulted. Frankly I was stunned when I read them and thought, “oh, there must be some other posts that were removed" since I saw nothing in them that either explicitly said or implied that Karla was lying, by the kind and sweet FOLV or anyone else.

I can somewhat see that the responses to the “reveal” may have been misinterpreted (not as lying, however—more like a cliffhanger with the lack of any detail), but there is a reasonable way to communicate rather than with an explosion. People are very curious given the forum uncertainty and perhaps a little bit more information could have been shared in the initial post—i.e. Wendy contacted me via email about a forum issue and signed her name—could have prevented what has followed. I wouldn’t expect the entire contents of a message from Wendy to be shared with the group, but just if the gist of it was forum business related rather than “I’m alive, please let people know,” signed by Wendy.

Leonana, if only people could ask questions—as simple as “what do you mean” before responding, it could perhaps avoid drama. It’s sad, since it deflects attention away from the topic at hand, which is IMHO the uncertain future of VF. I don’t know how alternate forums are addressing the issue of conflict resolution but it may not be an issue yet since I don’t think there’s much traffic yet. It’s an important issue as disputes are definitely going to happen.

[Karla25]

Originally Posted by FitBoop

This thread was an effort to find out what is happening with Wendy and VF. For a long time, a lot of people have been very worried about Wendy.

After so many of us who knew Wendy voiced our concerns, it was a natural reaction to want to know more about a post here that stated a message was received from Wendy. No one accused anyone of lying.

If Wendy were here, she would be giving a warning to stop the personal attacks or the thread will be closed.

Wendy was here on January 2, two days before your post. Just look up her name and it will provide you with the last visit.

[KarenJo]

Karla, a point that has been made more than once over multiple threads is that it is someone logging in on WWWendy's credentials. We all hope that it is Wendy and that it's a sign she's doing well, but there is no way to tell if the log ins or messages are from her or someone else who has the password. It could be another moderator who she turned over the password to long ago and who is reluctant to say so. Could be lots of things. No way to know. And Wendy hasn't replied to email sent to her personal address. Many of us do feel an attachment to Wendy and wish her well, which was why your original post was so eagerly jumped on and people were hungry for more information, so asked for details. Personally, though it's been years since I exchanged emails and messages with Wendy, I've "known" her for almost 25 years now through using this forum and she's a significant person in my life.

Wendy, I do hope you are out there and that your life is currently going well.

[Karla25]

Originally Posted by fanofladyvols

Well I asked because I wanted to know if it was actually Wendy (via email) or whether it was through VF (potentially someone else now using Wendy's account.)

I think it's pertinent given Karla's made a statement that has caused assumptions she wants others to trust that 'wendy is fine.' I didn't want people unnecessarily sad trusting information without fact checking.

I'm kerfuffled as to why I should not get an answer to that question?

I'm not asking for any other information than that and certainly don't even want the substance of the conversation.

What's wrong with giving an answer to the question, Dabbadoey?

Originally Posted by Vantreesta

FOLV did not accuse you of lying. At the risk of speaking for someone else, I believe she only asked bc the question was whether Wendy herself was still around. Trying to ascertain if Wendy herself sent the message or if someone was acting on her behalf was a fair question. Someone acting on Wendy's behalf would not then prove that Wendy herself was still involved with the forum. There was no malicious intent or accusation in her post.

Why would anyone impersonate Wendy? It wouldn’t be anymore difficult to do so with an email. In fact, it would probably be easier.

Originally Posted by sherry7899

Exactly <3

I guess we will disagree on this issue. When you say you can’t trust someone’s word without “fact-checking” that is in essence calling them a liar. Maybe I misconstrued her intent. I will try to give her the benefit of doubt.

BTW, I never said “Wendy was fine.”
I said “Wendy was alive” This could have been fact-checked by anyone looking to see when Wendy last visited the forum which as of today was January 2nd.

FOLV could have sent a private message to me asking for clarification. I don’t always read threads, but am notified when I have a message. It appeared to me that she and dabadoody were enjoying their public mockery at my expense.

Absolutely no one in this forum was entitled to know what the message was or how it was sent. They only have the right to believe or disbelieve as they choose.

Does FOLV really think people can’t infer if something is true? Do they really need her fact-checking me? Most of the people here are probably over 50 years old. How did they manage to survive all these years?

Does she also think that they are unable to send me a private message if they have doubts?

I see people as adults that can make their own decisions based on their perceptions of truth.