Classic VF humor: Workouts we'll never see

[LynnO]

So, those final stretches, is it partner work? Does it require us to buy new equipment. Honest honey, its for my workouts, and no you can't watch! All right, I'll stop before I get censored for moving beyond pg.

[Rainy L.]

I am SHOCKED! *giggle*

Actually, I didn't know how to put it as delicately as you did, so thanks.

Anyway, any excuse for a new piece of equipment, eh?

[CarolineBP]

Mindy's toughest interval workout of all time! Intervals include jumping through firey hoops, jumping from the second floor of your house and landing in a plyo-squat with perfect form, endless sprints with a toddler tucked under each arm, and for the grand finale, skydiving. Just a walk in the park for Mindy.

Caroline

[Clare*]

Okay, so I have a strange sense of humor! This is what I came up with:

SHAPE UP WITH SHAKESPEARE, starring Kenneth (Hamlet-Sweet-Cheeks) Branagh and his not-so-merry men in tights

Your too too solid flesh will melt away as you caper and gambol with Kenneth in character as Hamlet, and his cast of Melancholy Danes, in this unusual circuit training workout. Elsinore Castle provides a beautiful but dark setting as you climb the battlements and woo-woo like a ghost on your tall step! Get your Cardio going scrambling to and fro with Polonius and bowing deeply to Queen Gertrude. Work those buttocks and thighs with the fencing lunges during your mock Laertes' duel! Upper arm and back work that will leave you dead to the world is in order when you dig your own grave with the Graveyard Clowns, whilst Hamlet and Horatio provide a background lecture on the importance of tending to one's self! Break out your Yorick's Skull/Ooof ball for a spirited game of toss to work your shoulders and abs! Finally, enjoy a relaxing stretch with Ophelia besides a willow grove brook, but beware you don't fall in!!

Shape Up with Shakespeare is raised up from the ordinary workout by the motivating quotes Kenneth provides from the immortal Bard, which will move you to work that much harder. "Fight till the last gasp....O!that this too too solid flesh would melt....Do not give dalliance too much the rein!......O tiger's heart, wrapped in a woman's hide!....Make haste, the better foot before!...I see thy glory like a shooting star!...though she be but little, she be fierce...A light wife doth make a heavy husband.....How quick and fresh art thou!

:rolleyes: - okay so I'm a lot weird!

[LynnO]

Robin Hood tries to save the princess and she kick some serious butt!!! You think I'd remember the princesses' (sorry grammarians) name since I've watched or listened to that movie at least 20 times. I want a workout to be able to martial arts like Princess Fiona (whew it came to me)

[LynnO]

I think that should read have you seen!

[Rainy L.]

I'm at work and laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my cheeks. Oh, my. Oh, my! That is priceless and classic!

Now I have to fix my face before anyone comes in!

[Messe]

Do you realize you've gone and created a whole new video series? I can see it now: Play after play after play produced as a workout video. Love it, love it, love it!!!!

[Theotoks]

"Get Hard Abdominatrix"

Cory wears her black leather outfit from GHAS and wields a whip while a guy and gal in similarly odd attire perform crunches on benches behind her. Once in a while Cory makes kittenish noises and says, "You'll have the hottest abs on the beach!"

"Richard Simmons Kickboxing to the Oldies"

Richard flails his arms and hides his face as Kelli Roberts jabs and kicks at him.


"Whooping It Up" - aerobic speed work
The Crunch gang and Kathy Smith (from her TimeSaver video) whoop and holler for 30 minutes while you run as fast as you can away from the video screen! Guaranteed to get your heart pounding.

This is so fun!


ALWAYS have a Plan B.

[Jillychilly]

If you're taking pre orders for this tape I'm buying it! Forget being a Fit Prime Angel, this is the tape to get! For the dramatic finale, you end it by shoving the defective fanny lifter where the good lord split them and then say "Delete This punk!" Or "Ban this!"

Originally posted by Leia
The FIRM "We're Sorry" Workout

A Workout for all of you Firm Believers who pre-ordered the kit and are still waiting for it or anyone who is fed up with their customer service. We'll ship one representative from GoodTimes directly to your house so you can get a good upper AND lower body workout by kicking the crap out of them!!