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Originally Posted by BunnyHop
I can relate to your struggles.
The only thing I can do is try to remember that people grieve in different ways, both in how they express it, and how much time they give it. People are also typically reluctant to express the more complex feelings they may have, so it's hard to interpret their actions in meaningful context.
My father died almost three years ago, and back then, I was so stunned at his sudden absence that I really could barely function for a long, long time. Sure, some of it was likely depression and anxiety, but another part was just that I'd shared my life with him for so long I could hardly imagine how to move through my days without our connection, our mutual goals and mundane routines. My life was all about what WE did, and what I did for him. Losing him, I lost a huge chunk of my sense of self. That was a huge jolt to my system, and figuring out how to find my own way of daily life has been a series of fits and starts. Most days I go through the motions because I know the various bits add up to something helpful and supportive, but it doesn't quite feel like my own life all the time. Learning to let go of that old sense of purpose and pick up a new one is a huge struggle for me. Still very much a work in progress.
Another thing I've noticed about other people is that beyond a certain point, they're just ready to move on and simply don't cope well with memorials. Travel is also a huge deal for some people.
This present situation in the world is hardly typical, and in some ways I'm beyond stunned at the depths of the loss I sometimes feel. My general hope is that in some way we all learn to share each other's grief with a new appreciation of the fragility of life and the oh, so brief time we are able to meaningfully connect with others in this life.
Peace to you,
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Oh Sherry, I'm so sorry!! I am sure this makes it even harder because know that this isn't the first, or the last, of disappointments in people you have faced or will face as you mourn Frank.
I am glad you are venting and also glad to see the excellent comments posted (like Anna's above).
The stories you have shared of Frank lead me to believe that he would be urging you on, in spite of it all. You were blessed to share that sweet light and life I wish we all could know...if only for a moment. When you have that celebration, it will be wonderful because of WHO you are celebrating
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Don't just work hard, work smart....Pat Head Summitt
Never give up on your body!-- Miranda Esmonde-White
Word/Guiding Principle for 2024: Embrace: embrace my faith, my family, my friends, myself, the process, the progress, the hard work, the strength program I choose, the recovery methods and rest I need, my life, the good times, and the memories of good people.
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