Classic VF humor: Workouts we'll never see - Page 2

Caroline Kim · 03-15-02, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rose031
The Terminator II Workout. Led by Linda Hamilton she takes you through the total body workout she used to get in shape for Terminator II. Using only equipment found in the cell of a mental patient, you learn to disemble your bed and stand it on it's side for pull-ups, to disconnect the bathroom sink for bicep curls and to use a lidless toilet for sit and stand squats.

What a great idea! Using a toilet for sit and stand squats is too funny (and kind of gross)! I wonder if it would work for leg presses (with the lid). A modified version of this workout could be the bathroom workout where you sub the shower curtain rod for pull-ups.

I love Fridays!

Jacqi A · 03-15-02, 02:57 PM

This thread is really a reminder to do your kegel exercises regularly

missys_mom · 03-15-02, 03:03 PM

This is a hilarious post! My submission:

Tony Little's Yoga for Relaxation and Meditation (can you imagine the pony-tailed drill sargeant doing this one??

)

Deanna · 03-15-02, 03:05 PM

I love this thread! Thanks Martha

.

Firm Better Auras and Asses. Master Instructor, Rodney Yee, guides you through a series of exclusive Firm poses to balance your chakras and release chi to it's dynamic flowing state. This state of balance is required for the most effective use of the exclusive Firm Fanny Lifter. Rodney will inspire you to tone and lift your glutes to their higher consciouness. Filmed entirely on location at the Hearst Mansion.

Rainy L. · 03-15-02, 03:14 PM

Yes, that's right, Jacqi, and Cathe has the workout for you!

KegelMax! Join Cathe as she uses graduated vaginal weights (anybody else see these in the Gaiam catalog? I've read about them, but never seen them before. Interesting.) to increase the strength and endurance of this hard-to-work muscle. Ninety full minutes of of a variety of exercises will work the pelvic floor to exhaustion and beyond. Be sure to do the specially-designed stretches at the end of this intense workout.

For more (and this is serious stuff, folks) information on resistance training and the PC muscle, here's an interesting link:

http://www.kegel-exercises.com/resis...esistance.html

and it's serious. See, no smilie -> _____

Messe · 03-15-02, 03:28 PM

Do you think Cathe would be willing to use the music from the drug commercial--"Gottago gottago gottago gottago gottago gottago rightnow!"

And thanks for the link, Rainy! Serious is good, too.

SharonNYC · 03-15-02, 03:31 PM

Walk on the Wild Side: Leslie Sansone takes us on a 3 mile (brisk) walk through NYC's East Village. But it's okay, she's wearning black boogie tights by Carushka.

And a treadmill audiotape, music by the Grateful Dead: Dead Tread

twinkletoes · 03-15-02, 03:42 PM

The FIRM "We're Sorry" Workout

A Workout for all of you Firm Believers who pre-ordered the kit and are still waiting for it or anyone who is fed up with their customer service. We'll ship one representative from GoodTimes directly to your house so you can get a good upper AND lower body workout by kicking the crap out of them!!

Linda B · 03-15-02, 03:58 PM

I Want those Balls- After selling us her arms, abs and buns, Tamilee Webb takes a look around and sees that ball workouts are HOT! A prop heavy workout that uses all the balls in the house.

Look Great Topless- by that other Christi Taylor-
No real exercises, but lots of great video footage for those who enjoy the female form.

And the newest infomercial from those who must not be named-

Swim Your Way to Better Health -
complete with a walkman that is not water safe, 3 audio tapes to listen to while swimming, 2 videos that together make one workout, and an inflatable tub extender that brings tub height to 4 feet (and has at least an80% chance of making it through 6 workouts), a hook and rope to hold you in one place whle swimming and a 7 pack of vitamins.

SeptemberGirl · 03-15-02, 04:09 PM

John Basedow, creator of Fitness Made Simple, AM/PM Workout, and Six Pack Abs introduces his latest video:

Look At How Gorgeous My Abs Are - John Basedow, fitness model and exercise enthusiast, leads a tough and intense 35 minute workout where he strikes multiple poses in the mirror, gazing in awe at his six pack. You won't believe your eyes as he stares intently at himself in a deep trance-like state. He even cranks up the fun with brief intervals of him spreading baby oil on each section of his stomach as he continues to admire himself over and over. Filmed just like his commercials, the video also includes nutrition tips and motivational thoughts.

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03-15-02, 02:57 PM
Jacqi A VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Haifa, Israel	This thread is really a reminder to do your kegel exercises regularly

03-15-02, 03:03 PM
missys_mom Join Date: Mar 2002	This is a hilarious post! My submission: Tony Little's Yoga for Relaxation and Meditation (can you imagine the pony-tailed drill sargeant doing this one?? )

03-15-02, 03:05 PM
Deanna VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Upstate, NY	Firm Better Auras and Asses I love this thread! Thanks Martha . Firm Better Auras and Asses. Master Instructor, Rodney Yee, guides you through a series of exclusive Firm poses to balance your chakras and release chi to it's dynamic flowing state. This state of balance is required for the most effective use of the exclusive Firm Fanny Lifter. Rodney will inspire you to tone and lift your glutes to their higher consciouness. Filmed entirely on location at the Hearst Mansion. __________________ Deanna vidiot for life

03-15-02, 03:14 PM
Rainy L. VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Montana	Yes, that's right, Jacqi, and Cathe has the workout for you! KegelMax! Join Cathe as she uses graduated vaginal weights (anybody else see these in the Gaiam catalog? I've read about them, but never seen them before. Interesting.) to increase the strength and endurance of this hard-to-work muscle. Ninety full minutes of of a variety of exercises will work the pelvic floor to exhaustion and beyond. Be sure to do the specially-designed stretches at the end of this intense workout. For more (and this is serious stuff, folks) information on resistance training and the PC muscle, here's an interesting link: http://www.kegel-exercises.com/resis...esistance.html and it's serious. See, no smilie -> _____ __________________ Peace, Rainy Buff Muffin and Annika Wannabe Do 5 good Kegels right now!

03-15-02, 03:28 PM
Messe Join Date: Nov 2001	KegelMax Do you think Cathe would be willing to use the music from the drug commercial--"Gottago gottago gottago gottago gottago gottago rightnow!" And thanks for the link, Rainy! Serious is good, too. __________________ Martha You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. — Maya Angelou

03-15-02, 03:31 PM
SharonNYC VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Brooklyn, New York	Okay, how about : Walk on the Wild Side: Leslie Sansone takes us on a 3 mile (brisk) walk through NYC's East Village. But it's okay, she's wearning black boogie tights by Carushka. And a treadmill audiotape, music by the Grateful Dead: Dead Tread __________________ Sharon (You can get to my sketchblog through my profile page.) __________________________ I'm what I am, and what I am, Is back on Boogie Street. Leonard Cohen/Sharon Robinson "Boogie Street" 10 New Songs. (I have a professional/personal relationship with an instructor who produces video and book material relevant to this site.)

03-15-02, 03:42 PM
twinkletoes Join Date: Dec 2001	How about this one The FIRM "We're Sorry" Workout A Workout for all of you Firm Believers who pre-ordered the kit and are still waiting for it or anyone who is fed up with their customer service. We'll ship one representative from GoodTimes directly to your house so you can get a good upper AND lower body workout by kicking the crap out of them!!

03-15-02, 03:58 PM
Linda B VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001	I Want those Balls- After selling us her arms, abs and buns, Tamilee Webb takes a look around and sees that ball workouts are HOT! A prop heavy workout that uses all the balls in the house. Look Great Topless- by that other Christi Taylor- No real exercises, but lots of great video footage for those who enjoy the female form. And the newest infomercial from those who must not be named- Swim Your Way to Better Health - complete with a walkman that is not water safe, 3 audio tapes to listen to while swimming, 2 videos that together make one workout, and an inflatable tub extender that brings tub height to 4 feet (and has at least an80% chance of making it through 6 workouts), a hook and rope to hold you in one place whle swimming and a 7 pack of vitamins.

03-15-02, 04:09 PM
SeptemberGirl Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Richmond, VA	John Basedow, creator of Fitness Made Simple, AM/PM Workout, and Six Pack Abs introduces his latest video: Look At How Gorgeous My Abs Are - John Basedow, fitness model and exercise enthusiast, leads a tough and intense 35 minute workout where he strikes multiple poses in the mirror, gazing in awe at his six pack. You won't believe your eyes as he stares intently at himself in a deep trance-like state. He even cranks up the fun with brief intervals of him spreading baby oil on each section of his stomach as he continues to admire himself over and over. Filmed just like his commercials, the video also includes nutrition tips and motivational thoughts.