OT - Etiquette question

[Pam61]

I would just be upfront with the person who invited you and give them a call (or email) ahead of time to tell them of your food preferences. If it's just a small, informal gathering and they were kind enough to invite you, maybe they haven't even considered a non-red meat option. And, you could also offer to bring something, as someone else suggested. But, still go and have fun!

I have hosted events in my home for crowds of 40-50 people. There is always food with plenty of options. & variety. Some of these guests, I don't know that well and couldn't possibly ask each person ahead of time of their dietary restrictions. But, in some instances, the folks I do know, they have made their preferences known to me and I make sure to have specific foods for them.
Some people eat ahead of time and come just to socialize or have a drink.

I have friends who have celiac disease, are vegan, or are gluten free. A few have stayed in my home for a week at a time and it takes extra planning to accommodate them and their needs. Sometimes we then eat out, or the person might prepare their own meals, if we eat in. But, in these instances I know that person and we have a friendship already.

[donnamp]

How did you find out about what they were going to serve? I think that can inform how you handle it - if they told you directly they are serving steak then I think you can easily say, nicely, that you don't eat meat but that you would be happy to bring a dish to share and that you are looking forward to enjoying the company. If you heard 2nd hand that makes it a little trickier, I think and it may be awkward to say something or to bring something - so maybe in that case I would just eat beforehand, and then when the steak comes out you can say you don't eat meat, but would love to have some of the side dishes.

Whenever we invite someone over we do let them know in advance what we plan to serve and I wouldn't be offended if someone told me that they didn't eat a certain thing or didn't like a certain thing - I would just change up the menu. I like to know in advance if I am going to someone's house, too, I have developed a shellfish allergy and would just hate to have someone prep a big plate of shrimp that I couldn't eat!

Donna

[Gams]

I found out from someone else who was invited - it sounds like there will be 6 people total including the host and hostess. The guy who told me was all excited about going to a steak grill and he told the host what kind of steak he wanted.

[YetAnotherDeb]

I’m with the folks who say the host/hostess should know in advance. Since they invited you I assume they want to get to know you better and making you happy with the dinner is a start. Good steaks aren’t cheap these days so they may appreciate notice that something else like fish might suit you better.

Sorry, not offering any real insight.
_____
YADeb

[JackieB]

Originally Posted by Gams

I found out from someone else who was invited - it sounds like there will be 6 people total including the host and hostess. The guy who told me was all excited about going to a steak grill and he told the host what kind of steak he wanted.

Just text them and say you heard that the meal is steak and ask if you could bring a dish to share.

Or don't go.

[donnamp]

I was thinking about this and if I were the hostess and I served something someone did not like or could not eat - I would feel bad. So I think it would be a good idea to just contact them, let them know you heard that steak was being served and that it is not something that you eat and but that you would be happy to bring something for everyone to share. I'm willing to bet the host/hostess will be happy to put something else on the grill for you - if you eat chicken or fish or maybe even a veggie kabob.

Donna

[prettyinpink]

Originally Posted by donnamp

I was thinking about this and if I were the hostess and I served something someone did not like or could not eat - I would feel bad. So I think it would be a good idea to just contact them, let them know you heard that steak was being served and that it is not something that you eat and but that you would be happy to bring something for everyone to share. I'm willing to bet the host/hostess will be happy to put something else on the grill for you - if you eat chicken or fish or maybe even a veggie kabob.

Donna

Exactly this.

It can be awkward on both ends because you don’t know how the other person will feel. But I think things have shifted so that most people are more understanding about these things.

[yogapam]

Originally Posted by JackieB

Just text them and say you heard that the meal is steak and ask if you could bring a dish to share.

Or don't go.

Agree!

I’ve had vegetarians when I’m serving an omnivorous meal. If I am aware of that I make sure to include some hearty plant based side dishes.

[ardnas]

I would make, bring, & eat my own food if I wanted to attend. I would let the host know ahead of time that I would be doing so and just say I have severe allergies. No need to mention you don't eat meat. In my experience, most people try to argue about, change you, or get offended by even mentioning you are a Veg*n.

I haven't eaten meat for 25yrs and get sick easily from cross contamination, so I won't eat food other people make or serve (other than a select few). -Not sorry I don't want diarrhea because you mistakenly used the same serving spoon in my side dish as your chicken casserole.