05-22-20, 10:39 AM | |
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Orange County, CA
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This is a very interesting thread. I just want to point out that thin is not necessarily the same thing as fit. So although this thread is titled “fit-shaming” I think it’s actually more a case of “thin-shaming”. I doubt anyone cares if Adele has been working out more but people who thought she was a good role model for body acceptance may feel disappointed that she has seemingly capitulated to society’s standard that women should be thin by losing so much weight.
For most of my adult life I have been about a size 14 which I have mostly been happy with. I work out every day, have good aerobic capacity, am healthy and am muscular. In my early 40s I got a bee in my bonnet and carefully but strenuously lost 40 lbs which oddly only took me down to a size 10, although people started telling me I looked too thin (which just made me laugh). But I really did not like all the “compliments” I got from friends and acquaintances like “wow, look at you, have you been working out?” (daily, as per usual), “oh you look so good!” (as opposed to how I looked before?) and my absolute favorite “oh I didn’t even recognize you!!!!” I guess in general I think America puts too much emphasis on women being thin, people seem to think fit equals thin or healthy equals thin, neither of which is always the case. I also think there’s a double standard whereby men can be considered attractive if they are not super thin, but women usually cannot. I think that’s why people champion Ashley Graham, the old Adele, one of the many Beyoncé’s LOL, who are widely acknowledged to be attractive even when they are larger. When I notice friends have lost weight I usually don’t comment and I never know if it’s rude not to comment or if it’s rude to comment, it’s such an individual thing. I guess for most people being thin is very important so probably they would enjoy it if people noticed and congratulated them. My husband has always made me feel beautiful and that neither increased nor decreased when I lost weight, which was a sort of non-reaction that I greatly appreciated from him. Honestly, I think most people (myself included) who diet to lose weight end up gaining it back so when I have friends who go on diets I sort of inwardly sigh and think it’s just a temporary new hobby for them but I try to listen patiently and express interest when they talk about their new regime. |
05-22-20, 10:44 AM | |||
Join Date: May 2006
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Sadly, I've noticed that these interlopers are always women who never show "concern" about my life except to make comments about weight. The men in my circle can get ripped and lean without ever suffering those types of comments.
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Taiga |
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05-22-20, 02:07 PM | |
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Orange County, CA
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I also think that most people are not happy with their own bodies, they judge themselves harshly for being too fat, not muscular enough, whatever. So it’s a kind of knee jerk reaction for people to respond strongly when other people lose weight or are just thinner to start with, whether through genetics or hard work, it seems to hit a nerve with the majority of people in this country who feel their bodies are not good enough and so they will be vocal about judging and commenting on other people’s size and shape.
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05-22-20, 04:15 PM | ||
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Texas
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I know how hard this is on you. My son was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic 20 years ago when he was 8. I used to check his blood glucose twice per night. With each night check and every morning getting him up for school, I approached him slowly in case I found what the doctors at Children's included in our training before they let us bring him home: Dead in Bed thanks to life-saving insulin therapy not being all that perfect. NOTE: Insulin therapy is better these days with better insulin, insulin pumps, and automatic blood glucose monitors with alarms. |
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05-22-20, 04:27 PM | ||
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Texas
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05-22-20, 04:32 PM | ||
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Texas
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Now go ahead and eat half of a double-cheese pizza tonight since you are lucky like that according to them LOL! |
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05-22-20, 04:36 PM | ||
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Texas
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How about: Oh my god! You look so disgusted with how fit I am. |
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body comments, body image, fit-shaming, weight loss |
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